Gathering housemates on the sofas this morning, the voice of Big Brother made a stern announcement through the House.

"At 1.40 this morning three housemates broke a fundamental rule of Big Brother," said Big Bro. "The three of you know who you are. Would the three housemates come to the Diary Room immediately."

Not revealing who the rule-breakers were, Charley and Nicky got up assuming it was them. But they couldn't work out who the third housemate was. Unable to decide, Tracey and Brian went with Charley to the Dairy Room, but the Diary Room light remained red.

Who were the rule-breakers? Or were there any at all? No - it was Big Brother dishing out another leg-pull for fake week.

"Does anyone know what they done?" asked Charley.

"We didn't do anything," said Gerry. "None of us have broken a fundamental rule."

"Why don't they just tell us?" asked Brian.

"It's not us," said Ziggy, Gerry and Carole outside the Diary Room. "They're not letting us in."

Carole went back to the sofa and started reading the rules to the housemates to work out who might have broken a rule. Ten minutes later the housemates were still deliberating who Big Brother could possibly mean.

"If the three housemates don't come to the Diary Room immediately, Big Brother will start to punish all housemates alphabetically," said the voice.

"We don't know who it is," whined Brian.

"They've done it for the fun of it," said Charley, shaking her head. "They're doing it on purpose."

Oh Big Brother, you are awful.