The housemates have just found out that Charley and Nicky will go head-to-head in this week's eviction, the first time either has faced the public vote. But in the twisted, topsy-turvy world of Big Brother's Fake Week, there is no eviction. Not a real one, anyway.

Whoever goes will experience all the usual eviction rituals: cheering (or booing), an interview with Davina and a chance to see who nominated them. But then, after all that, they'll be slung back into the House... accompanied by a deafening echo of teeth-gnashing and the word 'revenge' burning on the back of their eyelids.

What's more, woe betide the evictee who gets catty with Davina about their housemates, as the rest of the House will be watching every word on a plasma screen. Ouch!

Of course the housemates don't know any of this and think the usual eviction rules apply.

On hearing the news Charley said "Aww, me and her, we're so not bothered." Nicky just said "I knew it was going to be me."

Will it be Nicky who reveals who gets her goat in a head-to-head with Davina? Or will it be Charley who freaks when she hears who nominated her?

Who gets to be the fake evictee? You decide...